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The 10 Wedding Mistakes Malay Couples Make

Finally, the day of your dreams has arrived. And just like any other couple, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make it the most memorable day of your lives. Well, we know just how important it is. And we want you to enjoy your wedding day just as well. We’ve compiled a list of the ten mistakes couples make when planning for their marriage. So that you too can avoid preparing for a stressful ceremony.

1. Not taking your partner’s ideas into consideration

You are off to a bad start if you’re dead set on planning the wedding of your dreams, without caring for your potential spouse’s wedding needs. Ignoring your partner’s wedding requests will inevitably lead to arguments and discords that will add on to the pressure. Surely, you wouldn’t want to kick start your relationship as a married couple by arguing a lot now, do you?

2. Bad time management!

Planning a wedding in Singapore needs a lot of time management since couples would pretty much have to set a date for EVERYTHING. From registering your marriage to the wedding ceremony itself, everything has to be tightly scheduled. Without proper time management, your wedding day could potentially be disastrous. And there will be little room to sort everything you want out on time. Don’t hesitate to take a few days of work or school to get everything in order.

3. Hiring friends instead of a ‘pro’

We all have that one friend/coworker/relative with a budding interest in photography, catering or god-forbid, DJ-ing. And whilst we understand the need to support your close friends and their creative passions. It is always better to spend a little extra and employ professionals to help with those treasured mementos on your wedding day. Wedding photos and videos are meant to last for the rest of your married lives. You wouldn’t want to remember it by flipping through your album filled with cringe worthy pictures. Not to mention the amount of relief you’d have knowing that everything is in safe, professional hands.

4. Trying too hard to please your in-laws/friends and your mother

There is a certain amount of pressure on grooms when it comes to planning a wedding that will satisfy their potential in-laws, their partner and most importantly, their mother. But think about it. Are you willing to shell out your savings for a wedding of your mother’s or in-law’s dreams?

It is important to remember that your wedding day is ultimately only yours (and your partner’s) to plan. Sure you can help appease the in-laws and your parent’s wishes, but leave the important decisions for both you and your partner to make.

5. Blinded by tradition

Sticking to certain familial traditions might be important. But you should always question the importance of it before deciding to incorporate it into your ceremony. Sure, your grandmother’s, grandaunt decided to get inai-ed by a blind lady from Ang Mo Kio, eight days before her wedding date. But is it necessary? Don’t be ashamed to drop certain wedding traditions that you think are archaic.

6. D-I-Y-ing everything on your own!

It is no surprise that Malay weddings are expensive and you’re looking for ways to scrimp and save for your dream BTO. But is it worth it to D-I-Y everything right down to your pelamin for your wedding? Save yourself the stress and start shopping around for cheaper options.

And if you’re still dead set on crafting everything by hand, then be sure to ask your friends and relatives for a little help. After all, what’s a Malay wedding without a little gotong-royong, right?

7. Not setting a budget

Did you know that most married couples in Singapore divorce within five years of marriage because of their wedding debt? With that in mind, it is important to set a workable budget. So the next time you’re out shopping for wedding supplies. Consult your budget and decide on the importance of that item before finalising your options. If you die die need it, then perhaps you should shop around for cheaper options or maybe ask for a discount.

8. Not ordering enough to accommodate

I’ve been to my fair share of bad weddings, and all of them had one thing in common. There was no food!! It made the wedding a sour event, and none of the newer guests seemed to enjoy their time there. The solution to an enjoyable ceremony? Easy! Just order enough food for your guests.

Fun Fact: Did you know that most couples anticipate that 25% of guests won’t show up for the wedding? Only to be surprised? Double check your RSVP before ordering the amount of food needed. Or make arrangements to include more kuih and dessert options for the latecomers.

9. Not having a backup plan

Sometimes the unimaginable happens, and your caterer/DJ/photographer pulls out moments before your big day, leaving you with little time to find a worthy replacement.

Situations like this might be rare, but it is always good to have a backup plan. Write down the names of all the professionals that “wowed” you and list the top two that you want. You should inform the runner-up that you’re interested in having them as a fail-safe, just in case things fall through.

10. Stressing out over everything!!

By far the worst thing any bride or groom-to-be can do is to stress over every little detail. Sure you want your wedding day to be perfect and reading articles like this (haha) isn’t helping with that anxiety. But rest assured that with the number of professionals, your family, and friends helping out. There is little reason for worry!

And there you have it! Ten mistakes that could potentially make your wedding planning or ceremony a little less perfect. You can avoid major wedding blunders by following the advice given. But take note that even if minor mistakes happen, your wedding day will still be as lovely. So take a step back and relax. You will be able to enjoy your wedding planning and ceremony a lot more that way. Good luck!

Bonus Tip: Having an enormous guest list

It is no surprise that the average Malay wedding will have more than a hundred guests invited. Having too big a guest list can result in a less intimate and kinda awkward affair. Besides planning a smaller ceremony is cheaper and can be just as magical. So cut out your third cousin’s, co-worker’s wife from your guest list. And save the seats for people who you care about.

Credit to: Deana Zafir


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